IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minuteWith sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling

Myself

I have to live with myself and so I want to be fit for myself to know.
I want to be able as days go by always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don't want to stand with the setting sun and hate myself for the things I have done.
I don't want to keep on a closet shelf a lot of secrets about myself
and fool myself as I come and go into thinking no one else will ever know
The kind of person I really am, I don't want to dress up myself in sham.
I want to go out with my head erect I want to deserve all men's respect;
but here in the struggle for fame and wealth I want to be able to like myself.
I don't want to look at myself and know that I am bluster and bluff and empty show.
I never can hide myself from me;I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know, I never can fool myself and so,
whatever happens I want to be self respecting and conscience free.
~Edgar Albert Guest (1920)

What is Love?

Sometimes the easiest way to define something is to contrast it with something it is not.
The best example I have now of that fact comes from my journey in understanding what love really is. Contrasting love and dependency have really clarified some gray areas in my head.
The best description of dependency vs. love that I've discovered is found in Could It Be This Simple? Written by Timothy R. Jennings, M.D.
According to Dr. Jennings dependency is characterizied by a clinging and self-centered need, not on mutual love and respect. The dependant person will look to another to be their source and supply of an internal craving. A relationship based on internal needs impairs the ability to give, as such the motivation for the relationship is primarily driven by the impulse to satisfy a personal drive. Since the dependent party is dependent for its internal feelings of well-being from the other party it will exert pressure, manipulation and control to maintain a relationship. The result is feelings of rebellion from the other party, which threatens the other other's security which increases their attempts at manipulative control. A downward spiral if there ever was one.
This recipe results in a volital relationship, characterized by intense feelings and is unstable and erratic. The bottom line is that dependent behavior violates God's law of love and liberty. It leads to loss self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence. These person's are constantly seeking to emotional filled by others and will do and say whatever it takes to keep their nurturer around.
That is dependency. And it is often mistaken for love. But it is not love.
What is love?
"True love is the Principe of doing what's in the best interest of the other person, the principle of giving." (p.75) Of other-centeredness, of unselfishness. In other words, it is not natural to the human heart. It is the opposite of our natural desires. "True love stems from knowing God...we come to love, admire, respect, and trust Him. We learn His methods and principles, and then we begin to walk on a higher plan of existence, free from fear and insecurity."
"Love heals, while dependency destroys. Love liberates, while dependency always seeks to control. Love gives, while dependency constantly takes. Love is fearless, while dependency is fear-ridden. Love is interested in another, while dependency focuses on self. Love is stable, while dependency wavers. Love is orderly and reliable, while dependency is chaotic and unreliable. Love is based on principles, while dependency is based on feelings. Love is consistent while dependency is inconsistent. Love is honest and truthful, while dependency is dishonest and deceitful. Love is patient, while dependency is impulsive. Love is kind, while dependency is cruel. Love is forgiving, while dependency is resentful. Love protects, while dependency exploits. Love scarifies self, while dependency sacrifices others. Love never ends, while dependency never lasts. And love never fails, while dependency never success." (p. 76,77)